有你在的地方都是风景

2oct2010
爱的人知道,被爱的人不知道。爱着的时候,就整天鬼迷心窍地琢磨着他。 他偶然有句话，就想着他为什么要这样说？他在说给谁听？有什么用？ 他偶然的一个眼神掠过，就会颤抖，欢

他偶然的一个眼神掠过，就会颤抖，欢喜，忧伤，沮丧。

怕他不看自己，也怕他看到自己。更怕他似看不看的余光，轻轻地扫过来，又飘飘地带过去，仿佛全然不知，又仿佛无所不晓。觉得似乎正在被他透视，也可能正被他忽视。

终于有一个机会和他说了几句话，就像荒景里碰上了丰年，日日夜夜地捞着那几句话颠来倒去地想着，非把那话里的骨髓榨干了才罢.

远远地看见他，心里就毛毛的，虚虚的，痒痒的，扎扎的，或上天堂，或下地狱——或者，就被他搁在了天堂和地狱之间。

爱着的时候，费尽心机地打听他所有的往事，秘密地回味他每个动作的细节，而做这一切的时候，要像间谍，不要他知道，也怕别人疑心。要随意似的把话带到他身上，再做出待听不听的样子。别人不说，自己决不敢保持特别的沉默。这时候最期望的就是他能站在一个引人注目的地方，这样就有了和大家一起看他和议论他的自由。

每知道一些，心里就刻下一个点，点多了，就连出了清晰的线，线长了，就勾出了轮廓分明的图，就比谁都熟悉了这个人的来龙去脉，山山岭岭，知道了他每道坡上每棵树的模样，每棵树上的每片叶的神情。

爱着的时候，有时心里潮潮的，湿湿的，饱满得像涨了水的河。可有时又空落落的，像河床上摊晒出来的光光的石头。有时心里软软的，润润的，像趁着雨长起来的柳梢。有时又闷闷的，燥燥的，像燃了又燃不烈的柴火。一边怀疑着自己，一边重视着自己，一边可怜着自己，一边也安慰着自己。自己看着自己的模样，也不知该把自己怎么办。

有时冲动起来，也想对他说，可又怕听到最恐惧的那个结果。就只有不说，可又分明死不下那颗鲜活的心。于是心里又气他为什么不说，又恨自己为什么没出息老盼着人家说，又困惑自己到底用不用说，又羞恼自己没勇气对人家先说。于是就成了这样，嘴里不说，眼里不说，可每一根头发，每一个汗毛孔儿都在说着，说了个喋喋不休，水漫金山。

日子一天天过去了，还是没说。多少年过去了，还是没说。那个人像一壶酒，被窖藏了。偶尔打开闻一闻，觉得满肺腑都是醇香。那全是自己一个人的独角戏，一个人的盛情啊。此时，那个人知道不知道已经不重要了。——不，最好是不要那个人知道，这样更纯粹些。

在这样的纯粹里，菜是自己，做菜人是自己，吃菜的人还是自己。正如爱是自己，知道这爱的是自己，回忆爱的还是自己。自己把自己一口口地品着，隔着时光的杯，自己就把自己醉倒了。

这时候，也方才明白：原来这样的爱并不悲哀。没有尘世的牵绊，没有哆嗦的尾巴，没有俗艳的锦绣，也没有混浊的泥汁。简明，利落，干净，完全。

这种爱，古典得像一座千年前的庙，晶莹得像一弯星星搭起的桥，鲜美得像春天初生的一抹鹅黄的草。

这样的爱，真的也很好。

after the craziness

when clamming down, refer back my result,
i felt that it is very dissatisfying
really not good enough~
all those is only luck!
the Luck help me pass all the exams...
So next semester start i will try my best to get the good result!

LET'S PARTY TONIGHT!!!!

wuhuuuu!!!!!
so happppppppppy!
finalllllllly!!
result released!! alllll passed!!!!!
so damn happpppppy1!
wuhuuu!!
i am totally insane!!! hahahahahah

boring holiday

everyone is leaving... ='( so sad... and mingyue is leaving tomorrow...
what a boring holiday... really boring and tension!
why tension? everyday every moment i am thinking about my result...
if i fail...? what should i do? really cant imagine!!!
='(

is holiday!

but not in the holiday mood...
screwed my management and ecs
let me pass please! i really don't want have sem4!
the line is fu*king slow... damn it!
wanna play game always dc!
grrr!!! so damn angry! X\!!
so damn hate this computer! argghhh!! fu*king mad!
want do many things also can't!! wtf!
the starting of my holiday just fu*king suck!!
later i want go mcdonald online, can't stand anymore! wtf...!!

piss like shit

3.15a.m planned not to sleep until finish the next subject!
Socialization as a process.
Will continue the study after updated this blog!
damn piss like shit! Why ?? because of the Management!!
f*cking subject! everything i studied didn't come up BUT, many things that i ignored just came up! wtf! scare will have sem 4! I don't want May intake!! =''''(
damn it!
but this exam i don't no whether counted as pay more efforts or not...
please! let me pass the management!!!

time flies, do you realize?

about 8 more hours later is another final exam!
wuhuu! never realize it is that near already!
so, did she prepared? she don't really know whether she is fully prepared or not
these few days hugging the notes read a while the go and do others things then read again...
hahahah, kky always can't concentrate... haih cannot expect too much from her
well well well the first subject is Academic English, just wish her good luck and all the best! Academic English nothing to study... hmmm that's weird...